The Planning

This blog is titled England and Ireland.  More accurately it is an Ireland vacation of twenty days with a brief four day layover in London.  Ireland has always been on my bucket list because my most recently immigrated family member, grandmother Dallas, was born in Ireland.  Sue's maiden name is Reilly which should be good for a free pint in a pub somewhere even though her last name is probably more Scottish than Irish.  I also have some scotch in my blood, some of it is even genetic.

We will begin this story at home with "The Planning".  Unlike normal traveling mortals Sue and I go to great extremes during the planning stage of any vacation.  By the time we are ready for the trip to the airport we will have done so much research that we could almost make a U-Turn in our driveway, walk back into our house and feel like we have already been there.  I am writing this chapter and we are still about two and a half months from lift off.

We started planning this trip by going to "Triple A" aka AAA.  For what they called a custom vacation plan.  They managed to do the one thing that would really help, they gave the whole thing to another travel agency.  Brendan Vacations specializes in trips to Ireland.  For everything Irish they seemed to know their stuff.  The London portion of the trip was another matter.  They first put us in the theater district.  Since we didn't plan to go to the theater while on vacation we asked them for an alternative.  Their next selection put us next to a "football" stadium with Trip Adviser comments like "Go Green".  I'm sure I would have enjoyed a rugby or soccer match but I know as much about those sports as I know about sepak takraw.  All involve some form of ball.  Two are made of leather and one is made of wicker, I think.


Sepak Takraw action shot

We decided to pick our own hotel in London which ended up within walking distance of many of our preferred sites.  The hotel is two blocks from the Thames and less than a mile from a half dozen other sites.  Better yet, it is located where there are no nearby football stadiums or theaters, just a few pubs and restaurants.  There is a restaurant in the hotel and two pubs.  Eating and drinking are important for any well planned vacation.  Also listed among the amenities is a free computer.  I checked out their pictures of the rooms and all I saw was an iMac.  Since it has a keyboard and mouse I will accept the fact that they call it a computer.   I suppose it is an "English" thing.  This little dig on the Apple device is just for my friends who worship at the alter of the late great Steve Jobs.  I will be using my iPhone and iPad on this vacation so I will not bash the iMac any further.  Just having free wi-fi and an iMac were both pluses in my book.


We used Google Earth to do some virtual walking through the neighborhoods.  It is interesting to get down to the street level and "mouse stroll" around the hotels and sites we will be visiting.  Google now blurs the faces of people on the streets so it is hard to see if they are smiling while out for a pleasant stroll or if their faces depict a look of terror because they just got robbed by that figure going the other way.  Why Google feels they need to blur the faces of women in burkas walking around London is however beyond me.

I have been getting ready to drive on the "wrong side of the road" by sitting in the passenger seat while Sue drives down a divided highway.  I imagine that I am driving on the right side of the car complete with a steering wheel and a set of pedals.  I got the idea from Sue who, for years, has been using the "imaginary brake" on the right side of the car every time I approach a stop.  I also imagine when we are in the left of two lanes that the other lane would have oncoming traffic.  I guess after a few pints and with a little weaving in and out I would be correct 50% of the time.  Actually I plan to drink and walk not drink and drive (just to put Hertz at ease).

The other culture shock we will be dealing with is the pounds and euros thing.  The United Kingdom is on the British pound and Ireland is on the euro.  There is no argument that they are colorful currencies but having to convert dollars to pounds and then pounds to euros and then euros to dollars will create a "bit of a bother".

I have recently watched movies and video clips from The Quiet Man, London Boulevard, Faulty Towers, Benny Hill, Monty Python and Anne of a Thousand Days.  This attempt to prepare for our upcoming adventure will surely do as much good as a Britt or Irishman watching John Wayne ride through Monument Valley to get an idea of what to expect in the US.

To get in shape for Ireland I have been visiting the local Kendale Ale House.  They have both Guinness and Smithwick's on tap.  I'm brushing up on my 'crack' which has nothing to do with white powder or pants worn too low.  In fact it is their slang for intercourse, the verbal kind so get your head out of the gutter.  Most of the Internet advice sites on Ireland warn not to talk about the bad weather (they know its bad), or politics (they know its evil), or the economy (they know its bad), or the potato famine (they know it was bad), or "an Irishman walks into a bar" (they know a bad joke or two) or pretty much anything else you might think of.  This leaves a conversation restricted to, "might I buy you another pint" and "isn't it my turn to buy a round" which are both generally well received.


All of this planning and research is being mentioned because, if all goes like it usually does, enough things will go awry to make this blog interesting and more importantly, funny.

So, fasten your seat belts, we are in for a bumpy ride.